Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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