Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
