Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
