4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
