i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
