oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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