you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
