We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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