Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
