Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Green mimosas i think yes
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
