Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
