If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I wish there were birth control emojis
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
