just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
