You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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