I think im going to throw up on grandma
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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