you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
