I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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