i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
did you just send me my own nude
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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