he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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