I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
