I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
