im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
