just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
When are your genitals available?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
