it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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