this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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