apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
this is an emotional support booty call
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
