considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
