as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
