i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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