she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
