I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
All I want is dick and wine.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
