I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
