so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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