I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
