to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's just like the Real World with babies
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
