I heard we made out
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
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