There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
