If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
