She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Randomize
