So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
