I CAN MOONWALK!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
