last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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