Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
