Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
