problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
