come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
