apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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