why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
