There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i think i just lost a toe
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