office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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