If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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