There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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