why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
